Thursday, November 16, 2006

Rain, rain, go away, Come again some other day.

Seriously, this rain has got to stop at some point. There are pools of water lying in the fields now. My backyard is starting to look like a swamp...

Anyway. I managed to drag my butt into work again this morning, but really, how much longer am I going to be able to do this? After working my 4 days in a row last week, I was so bagged that my mother took little Molly Monday and Wednesday and I had arranged for her to go the the sitter's on Tuesday (which turned out to be my only day with any energy this week - doh!). I guess I need to really take a look at what is more important - do I need to get out of the house and work to keep myself active and my mind working, or do I need to rest so that I give my family the best of me, not the workplace.

I enjoy working. It makes me feel useful and busy. I just don't like the after affects of too many 10 hour shifts in a row. I can't cut down the amount of time I work without losing .74 status and losing my benefits. The all important benefits. I can't even imagine what the meds would cost if I was paying full price. As it is, since my husband gave up his office job to work for himself (contracting/construction), I lost his benefit package and mine only covers 80%. It used to be full coverage, which was wonderful. I still have to pay more than $300/month. Imagine full price..

Not that I should complain. I'm lucky to have what I do have. Which is why I'm worried about losing it. I asked HR to send me info on LTD, but I haven't received it yet. I'm curious to find out what percentage of my income I'd lose on LTD and if my benefits stay the same. I know that the day when I can't manage it any longer might not be too far off. As it is, I've had two medical leaves this year for a couple of months, and sick days that probably drive them nuts. They are well aware of my disease, and I work for a very supportive employer within the health care system.

I'm not sure where I was going with this. My mind is wandering all over hell and back today. I should probably do some work, eh?

Can you tell I'm Canadian? Eh?


personallog! said...

Thinking outside the box is always a good idea when it comes to living with ms. You have done 8 years and you have my best wishes to take the next step. The work/no work can only be decided by you and no-one else can take it away from you. I found getting my thoughts down on my blog helped.....But the day you have to make that step is a big one and I understand what you are going through. Try not to worry to much as the stress of thinking too much about it is more work than going to work. Trust me.

You can do it bud!

mdmhvonpa said...

Followed you from Dave's (persoanllog) blog. Your issues between work and home life are common ... and complicated by MS greatly. I went through the same struggle for nearly 12 years till I finally figured out what to do with myself. We here in the US are currently considering Socialized Healthcare and your tale does not give me much surcease!