Thursday, December 7, 2006

Sleepless night, but house is going to be clean!

I hope this won't sound too whiny. Last night was excruciatingly painful. Not much sleep, hence me being slightly incoherent at the moment. I'm typing fast too so that I can get out of the way before the cleaning lady shows up. My mother-in-law pays for a cleaning lady to come every other week now, to save me the back spasms associated with vacuuming, bending, etc. I used to love cleaning. It's good for your soul in some ways. Now, I just stick to cleaning drawers and closets and stuff. Still satisfying.

Ok, so I'm a little anal retentive, maybe?

Did I say that I really love my mother-in-law? She is wonderful. So is my father-in-law.

Anyway, the last couple of weeks my normal neuropathies and the (brutal, at the moment) fatigue have had general body aches added for interest. You know when you have the flu, right at it's very worst and your body hurts so bad that you just want someone to put you out of your misery? It's like that. Then there are the stabbing pains up and down my spine. Not the L'hermittes kind of pain, I've had that before and didn't find it painful. Actually, it was kind of a weird feeling, every time I bent my neck it felt like an electric currant buzzing down my neck and spine. Not all that bad at all, except that my neck would get so tired from all the shocks that it felt like my head was just going to flop over onto my shoulder. ~l~ The weirdities of MS. No, there is no such word as weidities, but I like it.

Heat seems to help with the body pain somewhat, but I look absolutely ridiculous lying on the couch with all sorts and sizes of heated bean bag thingies stuck to me.

Going to get one of the damn things right now to put on my neck. Typing seems to be aggravating it.

That's much better.

Rob thinks that I should go back on my happy pills again. I agree. While I don't think that the current additional aches and pains have anything to do with stopping my sertraline, maybe I'd be better able to deal with it. Rob must get sick of the blubbering. He has never been anything other than supportive.. how do they do it, the husbands/wives/partners/caregivers? Granted, Rob and I are pretty pragmatic people, but he really just takes every day as it comes and doesn't worry about tomorrow (which, by the way, makes him a lousy bill payer, so I do that). It makes him a wonderful partner though. He listens to each new complaint, then hugs/rubs or just holds me until I feel better. He doesn't do the advice thing unless I ask for an opinion on something.. he cooks, gives me a break as soon as he comes home and lets me rest while he takes over the kids. Ok, he is perfect. Except he doesn't clean. Not a bit. ~s~

Where was I? Rambling again, lack of sleep and all that.

I phoned my manager at work to tell her that I wouldn't be in this week again. I only worked one day out of four last week, and will miss another 4 this one. I also requested the paperwork for LTD so that we can look it over and discuss it with the doc next week at my appointment. If nothing else, I need a note for work excusing me for the sick time. Much as I love working, I just can't go for a whole day (especially a 10 hour shift) anymore without rest. When I'm at home I often nap for up to 3 hours in the afternoon. And that after having slept in on days when I not feeling well.

Strange, after being a morning person all of my life, I'm no longer able to get out of bed in the morning. I used to be up at 5am, full of energy. Now I hate the thought of setting foot to floor before 9 or 10 or later, if not feeling well. Then another rest in the afternoon. And then I might start to finally feel human after dinner. Which is when we are all together as a family, so I'll take that.

Got to go. Cleaning lady is taking over the house.

Monday, December 4, 2006

Driving, birthdays and wrinkles

Had some excitement on the weekend. OK, well, almost had some..

Rob and I were on our way to his mom's 65th birthday party on Saturday night, him driving a few kms above the speed limit, as per usual. Hey, we live rurally. If you can't take advantage of almost empty rural winding roads, what can you take advantage of? Besides, he is a good driver, and really enjoys it. Anyway, on one straight stretch he pulled out to pass a car that was going a little too slow (ok, the speed limit), but when he looked over to pull back into our lane, noticed that the other car had sped up and wasn't going to allow him to pass. With a blind corner coming up rapidly and another car coming up behind us, there wasn't much other to do than to speed up to get away from the idiot driving the other car. We managed to get back in our lane before the corner, but we were going fast. Rob told me to hang on, because there was a lot of water on the corner (it's been raining here for 2 months now) and he thought the guy behind us was trying to run us off the road. I looked back and noticed that the headlights had disappeared, so we stopped holding our breath and drove on. We figured that he couldn't have gone in the ditch or we would have seen the headlights going all over the place, so he must have pulled over.

We didn't know at the time that he had tried to cut the blind corner to get closer to us. Instead, he hit head on a van that was coming from the opposite direction. We didn't know, because we were well past the corner at that point and he hit them just at the beginning of the corner. He hit friends of my mom's that were on their way in to watch the Santa Claus parade with my mom and Robbie (her partner) and our girls. Robbie managed to be the second car on the scene, because he was also on the way into town to meet my mom, who was already with the girls. Robbie is a retired cop, so he sussed the scene quickly and had fire, police and ambulance dispatched. In the meantime, the driver of the car phoned his mom and asked her to come to the scene and say that she had been driving. Luckily Robbie was there to say otherwise.. Turns out the driver has a police record a mile long and was driving with a suspended license and no insurance.

While at the party, we noticed the flashing red lights, so Rob had phoned a friend to listen to the police scanner to find out what was happening. In the meantime, another friend heard that friends were involved and phoned another friend, who in turn phoned someone else, who in turn tracked Rob down at the farm, so we knew what was going on before the guy with the police scanner even phoned back.

Ok, I know I mentioned before that we live in a rural community, but in case you haven't figured it out, it's pretty close knit. I've lived in this community for 28 years, but I'm still "from away". If that gives you any indication. I'm accepted, as everyone eventually becomes a fixture and a character in the community as a whole, but they never forget that you weren't born and raised. However, I did marry one of the born and raised, so I'm in.

So the girls missed the Santa Claus parade, mom drove to the hospital behind the ambulance. Everyone is ok, but bruised and sore. Tammy's (passenger in the other car) seatbelt came undone in the crash and she was flung about pretty good.

We told Robbie that it was most likely the same driver that had tried to force us into the ditch. At first he warned us not to say anything because the police might try to blame Rob for trying to race with the other car. But once Robbie heard that the driver of the other car gave a statement that a truck passed him and splashed oil on him, which made him cut the corner. Where did he get the oil from? So Robbie asked that Rob give the police a statement, which he did. It was water that was splashed on the car, but only after he tried to run us down.

In the end, the other driver was charged with reckless driving and driving while prohibited and something else to do with trying to get his mom say she was driving. Wonder how he was going to explain her car parked close by. But then, he doesn't seem like NASA material.

The rest of the weekend was uneventful. Rob's sister and her husband and his dad were up from NYC for the birthday party, and kept the girls well entertained. They've offered to take the girls for a few days over the winter. They live just 40 minutes north of NYC, in a beautiful little valley area that looks like cottage country in Georgian Bay. There's a great swimming reservoir nearby, parks within walking distance, a small river that runs through their backyard and a small ski hill for winter entertainment. The girls loved their week long visit in the summer, I'm sure they'd enjoy a week of skiing and tobaganning. And we might enjoy the week off too.

Molly (the 3-year-old) looked at me today and asked why my eyes had cracks. I told her that I was getting older and they were wrinkles. Apparently she equates old with death.. she threw her arms around my neck and sobbed that she didn't want me to go yet, I was her favourite mommy. ~s~ I told her that I was her only mommy, and that I wasn't going anywhere, that cracks were something that everyone gets after they have children. Then I went and looked in the mirror.

I didn't think I had that many wrinkles. Until today. Tomorrow, I switch moisturizers.

She also brought me a wooden spoon and said, "Mommy, dese are dust (just) for soup, not spanking little kids bums, right?"

What do you say to that? I just hugged her and said of course not, baby, then gave her a big hug and kissed the top of the curls. God, I love those curls.

Guess one of the grandparents must've been frustrated one day and reverted back to the old wooden spoon threat of my childhood. I'll have to talk to mom about that. I know it's just a threat, but it seems to have weighed heavy on Molly's mind.

Back to my coffee and the chocolate bar that Rob so nicely brought me back after curling.

Such a boring Canadian sport, eh?