Craving sunshine

I miss sunshine. Maybe it has a lot to do with the fatigue. Whatever the reason, it wouldn't hurt to start taking vitamin D. Didn't I read somewhere that a study was done on giving larger than normal doses of Vit D to people with MS and had a positive effect? I'd forgotten all about that until just this moment. Then certainly it can't hurt to at least take a normal dose of the vitamin.

Another day and I'm up and dressed and showered by 9am. That's an absolute miracle after the past few weeks. And I've been able to function almost normally for 4 whole days in a row. ~s~ I do feel like the exacerbation is waning, but I still need rest in the afternoon if I don't want to go narcoleptic in my soup.

Maybe I won't have to wait for the LTD. Wouldn't be great if I felt well enough to go back to work? I've been pretty much a shut-in since before Christmas. I crave outside interaction. I shouldn't say shut-in, because we have gone out to friends houses on occasion, I've made it out of the house a few times to do some necessary grocery shopping and of course Christmas shopping. I've also not left the house in 3-4 days at a time some weeks. It's weird, the way fatigue and depression feels like I'm imprisoned in my own body. As far as the depression goes, it's managed by meds for the most part, but a little shadow does creep through occasionally. The suicidal ideation only creeps in as a passing thought rarely. And my little voice of reason is working much better at beating the crap out of those thoughts. Wish it could beat the crap out of the gremlins mining for gold in my arm, but what can you do, eh?

Today it feels like they are attempting a new tunnel through my wrist and down into my fingers. And every few minutes one of the little buggers sticks a dagger into the side of my right breast. Brilliant. Cheers.

In other words, life as usual. I wonder if I'd miss the pain if it suddenly disappeared? It's been a constant companion for almost 12 years now.

The one pain that I didn't mind and couldn't really even call pain was L'Hermittes sign pain. It was kind of cool - any flex of my neck would cause electric shock type feelings to run down my spine and both arms and into my fingers. People used to look at me funny when I'd forget and bend my neck and get a particularly good shock and yell "Oooooh!" However, that only lasted for a month and was replace by a vicious pack of feral gremlins who made their home in my right arm and liked it so much they stayed. Yes, I know that makes me sound crazy, but its just something that my husband and I use as code. As in, if I look somewhat pained while we are out, Rob will ask, "Gremlins?" and if I say yes, then we cut it short and leave if I need to.

We have Mom and Robbie and the olds coming for dinner tonight. It's mom's birthday - or it was yesterday, but she was busy then. Rob will treat them to another small feast. He's been pouring over his cookbooks for something new to do to pork tenderloin. ~s~ He's really looking for an excuse to use his morter and pestle that I bought him for Christmas.

Oop, time to go, the kids are streaming in the door, back from church with Mom and Robbie. I don't do church myself, but having been brought up with it, I have no problems with my children learning about God. They can make up their own minds when they are old enough.

TTFN